Chusan's Liuyi Children's Day

C12 - Buy you a birthday cake this big

He Chusan checked his schedule on Sunday night and found that the day they would watch films, next Friday, was June 1st, the triad Big Boss’s Children’s Day.

Dad He went to the toilet before he slept and heard the clattering sound of counting coins from his son’s room.

Dad He hissed and commented in his mind – that’s my son; our level of poverty can’t stop him from seeing girls!

On that Friday afternoon, He Chusan carried his little backpack, holding a little plain carton, and arrived at the door of the billiard room early.

General Manager Ma had driven and waited over there himself under Big Boss’s command. Seeing He Chusan come out, he honked his car.

“Did you eat lunch?” Little Ma asked him.

“Hello, Boss Little Ma,” He Chusan sat in the backseat and said, “I did.”

Thus Little Ma drove him to the main office, scanning him onceover while controlling the wheel. He couldn’t see through this innocent-looking face no matter how hard he tried.

“You’re graduating?” Asked Little Ma.

“Aye, next year.”

“Which kind of jobs are you gonna work?”

“I’m studying economics.”

“Top student. I heard Big Boss wanted to ask you to manage a few billiard rooms, and you didn’t agree to?”

“Aye, I can’t manage people.”

Little Ma sneered, “Learn about it if you can’t!”

He Chusan held the carton, looking obedient, “I’m dumb. I am simply good at schoolwork.”

Little Ma sneered again in his mind, f*cking pretending! You do know that Big Boss wanted to invite you to help with financing in the company. You completely pushed it away!

They arrived at the company with different schemes in their mind and directly entered the big conference room below the president’s office.

When they entered, the meeting desk right in the centre was taken apart and piled on the side. Xia Liuyi held a cigarette in his mouth with a pair of sunglasses, legs crossed, sitting in the middle with a proper look. Besides him, there were also his two bodyguards, A-Yong and A-Biao, and Cui Dongdong, along with a girl with chubby cheeks in the room.

Hearing the footsteps of He Chusan and Little Ma, Xia Liuyi waved his hand like a king, and A-Yong stood up immediately to close the floor-to-ceiling windows, pressing the remote. As the light hit the opposite wall, overwhelming white light appeared in a flash!

--Xia Liuyi had let someone put a big white cloth over the opposite wall. With the film projector and two big stereos, it was like a private luxurious cinema!

Everyone also received a Hawaii sling chair, a bowl of fishballs, a bowl of shumai, a bag of popcorn, and a pack of French fries. They could take the cigarettes and beer as they pleased.

He Chusan was shocked by this grand arrangement. He was lifted onto the sling chair beside Xia Liuyi by Little Ma and blankly stared at Xia Liuyi, who wore sunglasses in darkness to be cool, “Boss Liuyi, what’re we gonna watch?”

Xia Liuyi sat up, taking off his sunglasses elegantly, and lifted his eyebrows as if he was royalty, “The Godfather. Isn’t it simply a Chinese dub? I sent someone to Guangzhou and bought the whole series. Today, you guys will spend the holiday with me and you can only leave after you finish all of them!”

“……” He Chusan.

“To let you brat know that this is how you watch films!” Xia Liuyi lied back into the chair with pleasure, pinching the cigarette and throwing it away, and poking a fishball to eat.

“……” He Chusan was totally conquered by how splendid (silly) he was.

The film had started, and Xia Liuyi tilted his head under the dim white light, seeing the little carton put on the table by He Chusan. He asked, “What’s this?”

College Student He said quietly with shyness, “Your birthday gift.”

Xia Liuyi sneered, looking like “didn’t expect you brat would remember to bring a gift”. He said carelessly, “Keep it there. We’ll open it tonight when we go to the nightclub for a drink.”

“I have to go home early to……” He Chusan swallowed the “night” part back under ensuing the glare.

--Don’t speak against him since it’s his birthday. He A-San counseled himself.

“You f*cker never responds to good words and I have to beat you to make you nice. What the heck.” Xia Liuyi cursed at him.

“Big Boss, we’re watching a film here! Can you go upstairs to flirt?” Cui Dongdong held her little sing-song girl with chubby cheeks and said annoyedly.

Xia Liuyi smashed at her with his clean fish-ball bamboo stick, and it was thrown back by her roughly.

The first part of The Godfather was three-hours-long, and the second was three-and-a-half-hours long, and the third one was three-hours too; adding them up, it was nine and a half hours. They watched from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m., and Cui Dongdong couldn’t help but feel like vomiting and ran away, using the toilet as an excuse along with her sing-song girl. The leftover men couldn’t even use the toilet as an excuse. When Xia Liuyi lifted his eyebrow, none of them dared move their butts for a bit……

The group of people painfully watched till half-past eight with Big Boss Xia and finished the second one. While Xia Liuyi was ordering them to play the third one, Little Ma sacrificed himself and jumped forward to tightly hold Xia Liuyi’s thigh, kneeling, “Big Boss! We truly can’t watch anymore! Please stop! The girls in the nightclub are still waiting for us!”

He Chusan had curled up on the chair and begun napping in the darkness. Being scared awake by Little Ma suddenly, he looked at them bewilderedly with his eyes slightly open.

Xia Liuyi had also got a little dizzy himself so he could only wave his hand annoyedly, “F*ck off. All of you f*ck off!”

Little Ma cried ecstatically, leading the muddled A-Yong and A-Biao downstairs to drive the cars. He Chusan climbed up swiftly, carrying his little backpack and going to escape.

“Come back!”

“Boss Liuyi, I’m going home to cook dinner for my dad.”

“Doesn’t he have hands? Can’t he cook it himself? Go to the nightclub with me! Boss Liuyi is inviting you to spend a holiday tonight and giving you a taste of women!”

He Chusan hid back, “No thank you, Boss Liuyi.”

Xia Liuyi grabbed the strip of his backpack, lifting him up as always, “No more nonsense, go!”

“It’s not necessary, really, Boss Liuyi.”

“Shut up!”

“I really don’t wanna go Boss Liuyi……”

“Shut up!”


“……” Glare.

He Chusan said weakly, “I won’t taste women or drink alcohol. Is that okay? I’ll simply go to celebrate your birthday.”


Two hours later, He Chusan was puking his life out in the toilet of the luxurious VIP room of the nightclub.

“That’s a good-for-nothing!” Xia Liuyi cussed him outside with a nightclub girl in his arms, “He was drunk after just two bottles! What the heck!”

Little Ma, A-Yong, A-Biao, Cui Dongdong, all had one or two girls in their arms respectively. The pretty birds, snakes, and mice were mixed together, sitting on the sofa, half-drunk. Little Ma, who drank most, agreed loudly with his face blood red, “Yah! What the heck!”

Cui Dongdong had already taken her little sing-song girl home. She kissed the fair girl in her arms and said, “He had been inside for half an hour now. Won’t he die in there?”

“Who cares,” said Xia Liuyi, “Little Ma! Keep singing!”

Little Ma stood up and grabbed the mic, opening his mouth and crying like a ghost! A-Yong cut the costly three-level cake, and Xia Liuyi took the lead, attacking Cui Dongdong with a piece of cake! Cui Dongdong promptly fought back, shouting “Finish the Big Boss and you girls will be the big sisters!”, commanding those pretty birds while assaulting Xia Liuyi with cream and boobs! Xia Liuyi led A-Yong and A-Biao, initiating a general attack. According to the principle of pushing down as many girls as possible, they fell into a mess on the sofa with this girl army……

The groan of the stereo shook the ceiling, and under the colorful light, it was a chaotic fight. Little Ma yelled George Lam’s A Real Man*1 hoarsely –

Be a real man,

Take those pain outta your plan!

There’s nothing love can’t span,

Life after sadness just began!

A door away, He Chusan pulled out some tissue to cover his mouth. The singing, arguing, laughing, and playing sounds mixed together, and his heart was also pounding!

A shock that he had never experienced stung his eardrums. He sat against the door drowsily, listening to the hysteric singing of those triad people in a daze……

Be a real man!

Death doesn’t discriminate against anyone!

Asking for principles is nonsense!

A hero might be the crazy one!

He Chusan covered his ears and held his head, gradually falling asleep with his head lowered.

He didn’t know how long he had slept when the toilet door was pushed open abruptly. He Chusan fell forward in the drowsiness and his head almost fell into the toilet.

Xia Liuyi, who lifted He Chusan’s little backpack in, turned his hand and closed and locked the door. He then threw the backpack to He Chusan’s feet, walking to the toilet to pee. He kicked He Chusan while unzipping his zip, “Hey, did you die from drinking?”

He Chusan supported himself against the wall. His sight was blurred, and he paused for a long while, “No, I’m not drunk. I puked it all out.”

“Don’t go out,” said Xia Liuyi. He let the waterfall go and zipped, walking to the basin and turning on the faucet.

Pitifully, his hand scratched for a few times in the air but failed to grab the faucet. He swore “F*ck!” annoyedly.

He Chusan finally found that this Big Boss looked calm but was actually pretty drunk. He could only turn on the faucet for him and grab Xia Liuyi’s paw, which was digging in the air, and put it under the faucet to wash it for him.

Xia Liuyi was born to be the type of person who does not show if they are drunk through the face. His face wasn’t very red, but his eyes were almost closed. He said slowly, “Some other brothers came and are outside. Don’t let them see you.”

The singing outside was still lively, and the voices of many strange men could be heard indistinctly. Xia Liuyi pressed on the basin and stayed quiet for a while, and murmured like he was talking to himself, “A ‘Red Pole’ is under Elder Ge. A ‘Straw Sandal’ is under Uncle Yuan. Neither of them is our own person and it’s insecure.”

He Chusan found that he couldn’t stand steadily and went up to support him, “Boss Liuyi, sit on the toilet and have a rest.”

Xia Liuyi waved his hand to drive He Chusan away. He put down the toilet lid and sat onto it floppily. Wiping his face with his wet hand, he said, “If something happens someday and you can’t find me, don’t go to Little Ma, since he can barely protect himself; find Cui Dongdong, she can cover for you. I brought you here today, and she knows that you’re on our side.”

“I’ll be fine, Boss Liuyi.”

Xia Liuyi sneered, “Yah, what could happen to such a f*cking little fox like you? I’ve known you for so long and you’re not even willing to swear to the heavens, a puk gaai brat that no one can be acquainted with!”

“……” He Chusan had nothing to say back but lowered his head to stare at the beads on Xia Liuyi’s forehead. Those shiny beads of water were slipping down slowly along his handsome cheek with clear lines towards his chin with little stubble.

A hurried knocking sound came from the outside, “Big Boss? Come out! The brothers can’t bear anymore!”

“Do you dare urge your Big Boss? F*ck off!” Xia Liuyi roared.

“We can’t bear it anymore Big Boss! Show some mercy!” The drunkards outside believed that the law won’t blame a group of people and scratched at the door as hard as they could.

Xia Liuyi supported himself with the wall and stood up, patting He Chusan’s shoulder.

He walked forward to pull the door open, and before the people outside could see inside clearly, he kicked out!

The people outside yelled miserably and fell like dominoes, “Ouch!” “Ow!”

Xia Liuyi closed the door. He Chusan locked it immediately and heard Xia Liuyi say outside, “The toilet is blocked. Go to the nearby one!”

“Big Boss must have puked on the floor and doesn’t want us to see!”

“You all felt that you’ve lived too much, huh?! Kneel onto the sofa and put your butts up! Dongdong, get me a pole!”

“Beat us after we pee, Big Boss! Or I’ll pee onto the sofa!” “That’s right Big Boss!” “Can I pee into the vase? I think this vase looks like a dick!”

“F*ck off!”

In the bustle, He Chusan sat against the door of the toilet, pulling open his little backpack and finding a big book.

He rubbed his blurred eyes and began to read.


He Chusan concentratedly read one-third of the big book. When he suddenly pulled his mind out from the dense English letters, he eventually found that the outside was relatively quiet and he could only hear lonely song accompaniment.

He checked the outside from the little crack that he had opened and put the book back. Carrying his backpack, he carefully opened the door.

All of Xiao Qi Tong members had been defeated and their corpses were placed in the maze of alcohol and food. They lay messily on the floor, sofa, cabinet, TV……there was even someone hung from the robe hanger with their collar hung on the hook; their eyes were almost closed and they moved their limbs slowly like a zombie standing on tiptoe.

He Chusan carefully stepped over A-Yong and Little Ma, who were hugged together, and helped pull A-Biao’s head out from half a watermelon rind. He didn’t see Cui Dongdong around – courageous people know when to withdraw, and she had probably used the toilet as an excuse again.

He made his motions light and walked close to Xia Liuyi who was sitting right in the middle of the sofa. Xia Liuyi sat straight with his eyes closed, opening his legs wide and pressing his hands on them like an emperor guarding his throne. There was also a cigarette that was burning for a while pinched in his left hand.

He Chusan bent over, trying to take the cigarette that was almost burning his fingers. Xia Liuyi abruptly spoke and freaked him out!

“Did I allow you to come out?”

“Boss Liuyi.” He Chusan greeted and continued opening his fingers boldly and took the cigarette out – it really was burning his hand.

He lifted his hand and Xia Liuyi’s eyes were still almost closed, looking calm. He couldn’t even tell if Xia Liuyi was conscious or even drunker.

“They’re all drunk and unconscious?” Asked Xia Liuyi.

He Chusan looked around again to make sure that there was no one alive, “Aye.”

“F*ck, a group of good for nothings,” Xia Liuyi cussed, “if someone comes at this moment, they could finish us completely!”

He Chusan wanted to say aren’t you still here, but then he saw Xia Liuyi straighten his waist to stand up but fall onto the table like a bullfrog – “Bang!”


He Chusan speechlessly dug his Boss Liuyi’s face out from the fruit salad which had been smashed into a paste. He supported him onto the sofa into the guarding leader position again and pulled some tissue to wipe this old master’s face, “Be careful Boss Liuyi. Don’t move.”

“I’m fine!” Xia Liuyi waved his hand carelessly, “Where’s your gift? Bring it and let me see.”

“Let’s see it tomorrow.” Said He Chusan. He figured that Xia Liuyi couldn’t control himself from beating him up in this situation.

“F*ck! Bring it!” Xia Liuyi cussed imperially with tissue scrap on his nose.

He Chusan could only walk a few steps away and dig his well-sealed carton from a pile of leftover beer bottles.

Xia Liuyi scratched at it but failed to open it. Lifting and shaking it lightly with a single hand, he tried throwing it onto the floor.

He Chusan aided him hurriedly and took the knife used to cut the cake from the table, cutting it open with a few strokes. He presented it to Xia Liuyi’s hand.

Xia Liuyi slightly opened his eyes and opened the carton that was packed carefully as if it was something precious. His hand searched inside for a long while – and eventually, he only found a card with an extremely ugly birthday cake drawn on it.

There was even a line written seriously, “Happy Liuyi (June 1st)”.


Pinching the thin card in silence for a long time, Xia Liuyi turned to He Chusan with no expression on his face.

“I wanna buy you a birthday cake this big, but I don’t have enough money,” He Chusan ducked his head and admitted obediently, “Let me give you a paper-made one first and give you the real one after I begin working next year.”


Pinching the card, Xia Liuyi leaned onto the sofa slowly. Facing the ceiling, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply towards the glimmering, colorful light above him, “He, A, San, you’re so sure that I won’t chop you into mince?”

He Chusan chuckled quietly, “Yah.”

“What the f*ck did you ‘yah’ for!” Xia Liuyi kicked him with little strength.

He was a little sober because of the anger that He Chusan had brought him and he stood up floppily, supporting himself with the sofa – he stood steadily this time – and he kneaded the card into a ball, ramming it into the pocket of his pants and lifting He Chusan’s backpack strip, “Go, I’ll send you home……f*ck, even seeing you makes me annoyed!”

“No, I can go by myself……” He Chusan wanted to say.

“How can you go by yourself at three a.m.? Crawl back?!”

He Chusan had nothing to say and he could only let Xia Liuyi drag him away. He thought Xia Liuyi would at most call a midnight taxi to send him home, but he was dragged all the way to the parking lot, watched as Big Boss Xia shook and opened the door of Benz, and then sat onto the driver’s seat.

--Crawling back would be much better!

“Boss Liuyi, please let me find a taxi to send you back first!” He Chusan tried to stop him hurriedly.

“The cr*p you’ll find! Go out and check around to see if there’s any taxis! Get in!”

“We really can’t do this, Boss Liuyi. You’re drunk and you can’t drive! Please come out……”

Xia Liuyi opened the drawer in the car with no expression, getting a gun out and releasing the safety, “Come in or not?”

He Chusan blinked at the tar-black muzzle, “You won’t shoot……”


“…… me.” He Chusan sweated, the hole on the wall behind him.

Terrorists were bombarding He Chusan’s mind. He held his little backpack and sat on the passenger seat with his face stiff. The moment Xia Liuyi stepped on the pedal, he thought he would never get the chance to see his dad again……

“Boss Liuyi, it’s a red light!”

“Shut up! I know!”

“Boss Liuyi, we can only turn right here!”

“Shut up! I know!”

“Boss Liuyi, watch out it’s a pole!”

“Shut up! I know!”

“There’s someone in front of us! Boss Liuyi!”

“Shut up! I know!”

“We’ve passed this street three times……Boss Liuyi……”

“Shut up……Let me think about the route……”

  1. *Link to A Real Man:
TN: Edited by our dutiful editor Mio Rio. @[email protected]

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