Novel Wars

Here Comes The Lady Chef Chapter 67 - The Cutting Off of Ears

Chapter 67 - The Cutting Off of Ears

“I will recite another line, little fellow listen carefully!” Sir Song Tao walked a few steps forward and said,

“If there are bugs (虫 chóng) in water (水 shuǐ) then it gets muddy (浊 chóng), if there are fish (鱼yú) in water (水 shuǐ) then you get fishermen (渔 Yú), water water water, the rivers and lakes are great in bodies of water.”

→ Okay tbh I don’t know if this meaning is accurate so refer to the footnote for better understanding

Without a second’s hesitation, Wen Ting answered with,

“The base of wood is its lower part, the upper part of wood is its end, wood wood wood, dense areas of pine, cypress, camphor.”

→ Okay tbh I don’t know if this meaning is accurate so refer to the footnote for better understanding

What an excellent child, he really did have some talent! Sir Song Tao internally praised his performance before continuing with,

“The moon is round but it also lacks something, the moon lacks being a round moon, after years and years, dawns and dusks, finally in the dark of the night, the day comes when I see you again.”

→ Again, possible highly inaccurate poem translation, refer footnote

Wen Ting briefly smiled, before he answered with,

“Flowers bloom and flowers wilt, wilting flowers and blooming flowers, as summers pass and autumns fade, the summer heat fades and the autumn chill passes, after a frigid winter, once again comes spring.”

→ Again, possible highly inaccurate poem translation, refer footnote

What a talented fellow!

Sheng Yaoshan was in shock as he looked at Wen Ting, they had both thought of the same things.

“The moon at the bottom of a pond is the same as the moon in the sky.” Sir Song Tao continued to issue out new challenges.

“The person in your eyes, is also the one in front of you.” Wen Ting’s reply was immediate and full of confidence.

“Closing the door, pushes out the moon in front of the window.” Sir Song Tao still carried on.


For a moment, Wen Ting was lost, how should he answer this line of a couplet?

Sheng Yaoshan was also stunned, it was his first time hearing such an opening of a couplet, it almost seemed like there was nowhere to gain a hint from!

However, after some thought, Sheng Yaoshan’s mood turned positive as he looked at Ren Yue while holding in his laughter.

“Uncouth!” Ren Yue coldly scoffed as his hand picked up a pebble and threw it toward a little drain outside the door.

“Pu-tong!” The sound shattered the silence.

Instantly Wen Ting seemed enlightened as he replied, “Throwing a rock toward the sky, but the water lies beneath the sky!”

“Clap clap clap!” Ren Yue carefully dusted off his hands, as his gaze became somewhat pleased with the turn of events.

“Ren Yue, you cheated!” Sheng Yaoshan finally realized what had happened and started to pull at Ren Yue’s sleeves.

“How is this cheating? I didn’t say anything!” Ren Yue’s expression was innocent as he pushed aside Sheng Yaoshan’s hands with ease.

So that’s what happened, Ren Yue, thank you!

By now, Wen Rou had already caught on to what had happened. Ren Yue must have been trying to give her brother a tip!

The future top scholar really did have the knowledge needed to be number one, nothing was too hard for him!

Wen Rou praised him internally before sending a look of appreciation his way.

Ren Yue noticed Wen Rou looking at him, but turning his face to the side, he pretended not to see it.

What are you looking at? I didn’t do it for your brother, I just don’t want to let Sheng Yaoshan win! Ren Yue said inside his heart.

The two people, one old and one young continued to parry back and forth, and for some time, it was unclear who would win or lose.

Sir Song Tao suddenly said,

“Two monkeys chopped wood in a forest. How dare a little monkey do that (reply the couplet).”

→ In this sentence, the ending line refers to the nerve of the little monkey in chopping, but it’s a homophone for sentence too, so the underlying meaning is kind of referring to the nerve of Wen Ting in actually challenging Sir Song Tao in the first place.

As soon as he heard this Wen Ting’s face turned. He looked toward Ying Xue who was standing by the door and instantly replied,

“One misstep and the horse will fall into the muddy ditch, how can this old beast make a step (question).”

“You rotten b*stard! How dare you!” Sir Song Tao was enraged by his reply.

“Hmph, I don’t want to play with you anymore! Sister, let’s go back!” Wen Ting had also lost his temper now and turned to leave.

“Brother, wait for me!” Wen Rou hastily scrambled to clear away the grill.

“Elder sister, I haven’t finished eating yet!” Liu Xian had noticed Wen Rou was about to leave, and tried to stop her.

“Good fellow! And what a personality you have! You are extremely talented, and I like that about you! Why don’t you stay?!” Just as Wen Ting was about to leave, Sir Song Tao opened his mouth and said this.

“Ah!” Wen Ting was dumbfounded as his body seemed to freeze then and there. He wanted to turn around, yet he could not even move.

“Mmm. I will make an exception for you, and take you as my disciple. If I can guide you properly, in the future you can commit your strength to helping the government! But there is one thing, don’t ever bring up the fact that you failed the county level imperial exam three times, otherwise you’ll embarrass me!” Sir Song Tao chuckled as he said this.

“Sir Song Tao! Are you really willing to accept me as your disciple?” Wen Ting was so overjoyed that with it took him one turn, and then he was kneeling before Sir Song Tao.

“Mmm. This bowing ceremony seems a bit much though! Honestly, I don’t understand… With your intellect, how could you have failed three times…” Sir Song Tao asked.

“Sir, I told you my brother was a genius, he is definitely not a fool. Since you have decided to accept my brother, please guide him well!” Wen Rou’s usually cold expression had disappeared and she was all smiles now.

“Mmm, that’s alright of course, but…” As he was speaking, Sir Song Tao’s gaze had already been drawn toward the grill.

“Oh, this…” Wen Rou instinctively knew what he was thinking of, and running toward the grill she quickly rolled up some wraps (meat in Chinese pancakes). She also made a Rou Jia Mo and brought both respectfully to Sir Song Tao.

→ Unwelcome?? Distraction no.1 Chinese Pancake Meat Wraps‌‌(basically meat wrapped with a chinese‌‌ pancake)

“Sir, please dig in!”

“Mmm, that’s more like it…” Sir Song Tao grabbed hold of the food, and was just about to take a bite of it when he suddenly stopped. Turning the wrap upside-down he checked it while asking, “This, hasn’t been eaten by anyone else right?”

“Hehe, how could that be possible, Sir Song Tao please eat to your heart’s content! From now on, forget about just having Chinese pancakes and rou jia mo, anything that you want to eat Sir, as long as Rou’er knows how to make it, I will cook it for you as a form of piety toward you!” Wen Rou cheerfully guaranteed.

“Oh, so now you’re not calling me an old geezer anymore?! Haha Haha!” Sir Song Tao carried his Chinese pancake with a look of satisfaction as he walked inside to enjoy it.

“Five hundred miles of the vast Dianchi Lake, surging in front of my eyes.
As if the ocean opened their lapels, pushing past its crown of beaches,
This boundless blue wave, how delightful!

Look, the Golden Horse Mountain in the East is like a galloping horse,
The Biji mountain (Western Mountains) in the West is like a Phoenix,
The Sheshan Mountain in the North is like a snake,
And the Heshan mountain in the South is like a white crane.

Poets! Why don't you take this good time to climb up high,
And admire those crab-like islands and the shoals that look like snails;
The willows in the mist are swaying like girls combing their hair.
And what about that boundless expanse of seaweed, filling the sky,
The reeds everywhere, and the green birds and dots of a few brilliant red clouds.

Enjoy it all! Waste not the fragrant golden rice around the Dianchi Lake, the boundless beaches bathed in sunlight, the graceful lotus in the summertime and the willows filled with reluctance to part from spring.”

→ Fun fact this is also known as the Longest Couplet Under Heaven and was made by Sun Ranweng during the Qing Dynasty when he went up the Grand View Pavilion (Daguan Lou)
→ Unwelcome?? Distraction No. 2 - Dianchi Lake
Grand View Pavilion

Sir Song Tao said this thoughtfully as he walked away.

“Ey… What couplet is this? It’s so long, and so complicated…” Wen Ting’s brows furrowed as he tried to think of a crack in it to form his answer.

“Could it be that Sir Song Tao has changed his mind? And he’s added another question? How… how on earth do I answer this?” Wen Ting began to scratch his head in confusion.

“Brother, that old man has already agreed to accept you as his disciple, what else do you have to worry about? Oh right, that stuff the old man said just now, what did it all mean?” Wen Rou lightly patted Wen Ting’s shoulder as she comforted him.

“Mmm, you’re right, Master has already accepted me.” Wen Ting was excited and worried at the same time, as he quickly hurried after him. “Master, wait for me!”

It was at that moment, a voice as pure as jade suddenly spoke.

“Thousands of years of past events come to my mind,
I raise my glass and look up to the sky and sigh.
Who are the heroes in such a long history?
Just think of these people,

Emperor Wudi of Han Dynasty, who,
in order to open up the southwest passage to India, dug Kunming Lake in Chang'an for his naval troops to use;

Emperor Zhongzong of Tang Dynasty, who
sent troops to recover Erhai area and set up iron pillars to record the achievements;

Emperor Taizu of Song Dynasty, who,
waved a Jade axe and delimited the southwest out of the boundary in the face of the territory;

Emperor Shizu of Yuan Dynasty, who,
led his army across the Jinsha River and unified Yunnan.

It takes great effort to move mountains! But the dynasties changed quickly, like the rain in the evening and the clouds in the morning. Even the curtain disappeared before it could be rolled up;

Even the broken steels of the memorial service are all in the light of sunset.
In the end, all that is left is the lingering sound of tolling bells, the half a river’s fishes and the dimmed fires, two lines of lonely autumn geese, and a pillow of cold frost.”

What they saw was Ren Yue standing there, hands clasped behind his back, and his face adorned with a calm, relaxed expression. It was almost as if such long sentences were normal everyday conversational lines and just fell from his mouth.

“Hehe.” Sir Song Tao’s steps came to a halt, he turned slightly as he nodded with a smile toward him. Then he continued to walk in.

“Hey! This fellow really is amazing!” With an admiring gaze, Sheng Yaoshan praised him from the side.

Wen Rou was just about to follow them in when she heard someone talking beside her.

“Sheng Yaoshan, you lost!” Ren Yue said nonchalantly.

“Yes, I did lose!” Sheng Yaoshan’s reply was indifferent.

“Are you willing to accept your defeat?” Ren Yue asked him.

“I’m a man of my word!” Sheng Yaoshan was still calm.

“Alright, you said this!” Something savage seemed to flash in Ren Yue’s eyes as his right hand reached for the sword round his waist.

“Ren Yue. What are you doing?”

“I’m drawing my sword so I can take your ears!”

“Oh! Well, come on then.”

“Will you truly not regret it?”

“I won’t!”

“Alright!” Ren Yue lightly pulled from his waist.

“Shua” A silver ray flashed past and the sword gleamed menacingly in the light.


“What, are you afraid or did you change your mind?” Ren Yue asked with a smile.

“Ren Yue. Do you really want to take my ears?”

“Of course, that was what you said remember, whoever loses has to own up!”

“Alright then, listen carefully. Just now I said that if I lose, I will whole-heartedly offer up both my ears, bone and flesh! But I said nothing about fresh blood! If a drop of blood is spilt when you take my ears, I won’t let you off easily!”

Ren Yue remained motionless as he looked at his sword. Inside he was thinking to himself, even the world’s sharpest weapon would spill a drop of blood when trying to cut off someone’s ears… When did this Sheng Yaoshan become so sneaky?!

“Ren Yue, do it then!” Sheng Yaoshan said unflinchingly.

“Rascal!” Ren Yue smoothly sheathed his sword, he knew that he had fallen for Sheng Yaoshan’s trick.

Without a second glance, he walked quickly inside.

“Haha Haha!” Behind him, Sheng Yaoshan was rolling on the floor with laughter, it really was too satisfying!

These two, honestly, when would they forget to quarrel? Would they really need to experience life and death together, then only they can patch up their friendship and support each other?

Wen Rou could not help but smile and shake her head as she looked at both Ren Yue and Sheng Yaoshan.

“Little fellow, what is your name?” Sir Song Tao asked Wen Ting after he sat down.

“Master, this disciple’s name is Wen Ting.” Wen Ting could hardly hide the excitement he felt right now.

“Wen Ting… The trees contain warmth and moisture, and there are many mountains surrounding it. The palace is full of officials wearing exquisite jade, and the red stairs are also filled with ministers wearing gorgeous official uniforms. This is a meaningful name.” Sir Song Tao mumbled two lines of a poem Wen Rou could not understand to himself, but even though he was talking to Wen Ting, his gaze was still on Wen Rou.

“Master you’re too kind.”

“Ey, I meant that girl!” Sir Song Tao was currently ignoring Wen Ting, and shot this question at Wen Rou.

“Sir are you talking about me? I’m Wen Rou!” Her reply came with sparkling eyes.

“Little girl, listen, even though I have accepted your brother as my disciple now, it’s not for free okay!” As he said this, his eyes scrunched up and he looked in Wen Ting’s direction.

Inside Wen Ting began to sweat, could it be that there were more tests?

“What you said is reasonable, our family will definitely prepare the necessary fees, we will definitely pay you well Sir!”  Wen Rou’s eyes swivelled around as she thought to herself, Seeing as he’s a renowned scholar, and he took on Elder brother as his disciple, his fees must not be cheap right?

“Hehe, you dare to talk to me about money, little girl? My pay is enough to support everyone here for the rest of their lives, do you think I need your meagre offering?” Sir Song Tao smacked his lips as though he had swallowed some water.

“Then what do you want?” Wen Rou was quite confused.

“Cough cough!” Ren Yue coughed softly.

Wen Rou looked in the direction of the sound and caught sight of Ren Yue. He had one hand over his mouth, and one finger pointed toward his own stomach.

Instantly, Wen Rou understood what he wanted.

“Sir, don’t worry! From now on, all your meals will be my responsibility. However, you stay too far away and I am still learning how to cook, so I cannot spend too much time in front of your day. If I may trouble your Sir to move to the Drunken Immortal Restaurant, I will definitely try my utmost best to satisfy your appetite, Sir!” Wen Rou’s eyes were filled with happiness, so this is what the old guy likes!


(Shuǐ yǒu chóng zé zhuó, shuǐ yǒu yú zé yú, shuǐ shuǐ shuǐ, jiānghé hú miǎo miǎo)

(Mùzhīxià wéi běn, mù zhī shàng wèi mò, mù mù mù, sōngbǎi zhāng sēnsēn.)

→ General meaning,
The combination of "water & insects" is "Turbid" and "water & fish" is "fishing". The best thing is that in the end, "water and water" is "Miao", while the last "river and lake" cannot be separated from "water", "river and lake" is "Yi", and the couplet is "water" as a whole.