TTKWQ Chapter 20

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I woke up and turned the alarm on the alarm clock off ten minutes before it goes off. I usually wake up before my alarm clock goes off.

The sunlight shines in through the gaps around the curtain, I opened the window to be greeted by a clear, cloudless sky.

Summer vacation starts today.

And summer vacation is a good time make some profit, dramas, photographing, there are all kinds of things planned with little to no gap in-between, I am going to be buried in work.

I am working today.

Starting to feel depressed, I go towards a big stuffed bear I keep at my bedside and open the zipper taking bankbooks from within. Five bankbooks all with nine-digit numbers. Because it is scary to save money collectively, it is divided among several banks.

Societies money. With money you can purchase anything. Dreams, hopes human life is dependant upon money. If I had money, then I would not have died from overwork.

If you look upon your bankbook, then you are naturally going to work hard today.

Alright, for my leisurely life as a NEET, I just need to work for a few more years.

I thought as such, but after breakfast all my fragile determination collapsed.



“Marry me Papa.”

“Eh? What about Onee-chan?”

I am performing my daily routine of running on the treadmill and stretching, I do this after I eat breakfast and drink a mug of milk to help digest it. While I was enjoying playing with my brother Kozuki, he makes an unthinkable bombshell announcement.

“Because, Onee-chan doesn’t play with me much, and Papa always plays with me during holidays.”

“Eh… But Kazu-kun, marriage between men isn’t allowed.”

“That so? Then, I will marry Mama!”

*Onee-chan taking a serious mental blow*

Due to being busy with work I didn’t even realise I had fallen to the bottom of my brother’s family favourites (ranking). I didn’t seriously want to get married, but I want him to say it to me. Just like a father who told his daughter,” When you grow up, become Papa’s wife.” The feeling is similar to that.

“Today I am going to the park with Papa, but Onee-chan is working, are you not?”

“Well, yes, but I should take today off…”

Which reminds me today is Saturday right? Because there are no holidays at work, my sense of the week has become a bit obscured. I do not remember playing with Kozuki on the holidays in recent years. It is only now I realise how lacking as a daughter I am.

There is something that cannot be bought with money, memories with my family are priceless.


“Okay, I will retire as a child actor. I will go out with everyone today.”

“No. I do not mind if you quit, but try not to bother your surroundings.”


“Shinosaki-san should be here soon, are your preparations done?”

While Mum was scolding me *pingpong*, the chime rang. Shinosaki-san seemed to have arrived, Kaa-san received her. Seems I will be leaving soon. I have already changed clothes, I prepared for it the night before, so I can get out as soon as Shinosaki-san and Mum are finished talking.


“Do you find being a child actor unpleasant now?”

“Well, it’s not like that, but I though that I had not been with my family enough since I became an actor.”

Dad said as he was reading his paper after breakfast with coffee in one hand, I replied with Kozuki-kaka on my lap. 1

“I used to go out and play a lot before, but recently I haven’t been able to spend time with everyone.”

“I though that I hadn’t been performing my daughterly duties.”

“We have never though that, since father knows that Nana is doing her best, parents will support their children in whatever they do.”

“Well, I do not particularly enjoy being a child actor.”

“Is that so?”

“I saw on TV that child actors earn a lot of money, so I thought that if I earned a lot of money as a child I could enjoy my life in the future so being a child actor is a means to an end.”

When I say so, Dad puts his coffee on the table and adopts a serious face.

“Even if the reason you started being a child actor is to make money you may find that you will begin to like it, Dad thinks that you are quite suited to be an actor.”

After saying so, he gently laughs while patting my head. He messed up the hair I painstakingly styled, but I don’t feel annoyed, I wonder why?

I heard the voice of Mum calling me from the entrance, it seems she has finished her conversation with Shinosaki-san. I put Kozuki down from my knee, got up and picked up my bag before heading towards the entrance.

“Well it is a once in a life time choice, so think carefully about it and make sure you have no regrets.”

Dad calls out as I leave.

As expected from the pillar of the family, his words have quite the weight to them. There was little regret in my past life due to having no choice but to join a black company and I was so busy trying to make ends meet that I never really though on it.

Well, now I am in my second life, so I will reflect on my previous life and have a goal to live without working in the future.

I don’t think there will be a third time.


“Does Dad have regrets?”

“I have made lots, however now is the happiest time of my life.”

Having said that, my Dad who is holding Kozuki and laughing seems to be really happy. I also remember having been held frequently in the past.

But, it’s impossible for me to feel such ordinary happiness. I can not love a guy, and I can not have a child with a woman. So, in the future I though that I would live an enjoyable life alone with the money I made from being a child actor.

Child actor… I never though about whether I liked it or not.

“I am going. I love you Papa.”

I say so turning on my heel and heading to the entrance.

For now, l will show a bit of my love to my parents.

Late at night I saw my father watching an edited Blu-ray of ‘My name is’ and I witnessed him crying. I wonder if those were tears of happiness or bitter tears.


I have not said “I love you Papa.”. If I had no memories of my past life, I could innocently say “I love you.”, like Kozuki, even with acting I couldn’t say it to him.

I greet Shinosaki-san at the entrance while putting my shoes on, when I tried to leave the house, I heard my Dad’s voice howl.



“… So, I wanted a small break from work during summer vacation.”

“Since Nana doesn’t need a break, they piled up your work with no breaks for the entirety of summer vacation.”

“Of course, it would be like that.”

Since my studies are prioritised, work tends to be packed on holidays, there are no days off except on long holidays. Summer vacation is a really good time to make money. Because I have school on weekdays I can not work full time, so I try to earn as much as I can.

I am paying for my mistakes.

Right now, I am being driven to the drama site by Shinosaki-san. The drama site is at a closed down middle school located near the city centre. The other cast and staff are moving to the site using a company bus, but I am going straight there because of Shinosaki-san.

“But, if your schedule is rearranged you can get one weekend off.”


“Because you are originally overworked you get some flexibility. Is Saturday or Sunday better?”

“Yes, I would like to be able to go out with my family.”

I am on summer vacation, but my father works. Working adults get the Bon Holiday off.

“Understood. I will take a day off next weekend.”

“I did it! I love you Shinosaki-san!”

When I said that, the car jerked. Shinosaki-san seemed to have made a mistake in her handling of the steering wheel and almost crashed into the guardrail. 2

“Hey! That’s dangerous!”

“It’s because you suddenly said something weird.”

I think that it important to try and convey my feelings, like I did with Dad, so I tried doing it with Shinosaki-san.

“Well, I won’t say it anymore.”

“… It’s fine just not when I am driving.”

“I won’t say it.”

Why do you say it is dangerous, when you look away from the road towards me during driving?



When I arrived at the middle school, the location bus had already arrived and preparations for shooting had already begun. The staff were running around making preparations.

“Good morning.”

“Nana-chan, good morning!”

I greet the staff and director talking about the arrangements and enter the classroom that replaced the waiting room.

“Onee-sama, good morning.”

“Gofu, good morning Mayu-chan.”

As Mayu-chan rushes forward I bend my body to catch the her. I can avoid a lot of troubles like this, because her skin-ship keeps becoming more and more extreme it is better to just take a hit. When Mayu-chan hugs as it is, she sniffs the nape of my neck.

“Well, Mayu-chan, our uniforms will wrinkle if we hug.”

“Yes~, Onee-sama.”

Today is a middle school shoot, we are wearing matching uniforms. It will be bad if they get wrinkled. Mayu-chan obediently separated when I warned her. I am saved because she is obedient when we are at work.

“Nana-chan, good morning.”

“Nana-san, good morning!”

“Good morning and best regards for today.”

Yamada-kun is tired in the mornings whereas Akagi-kun gave a cheerful greeting. The two contrast each other, but Yamada-kun appears more tired than usual.

“You appear quite tired this morning Yamada-kun?”

“I was harvesting green soybeans yesterday, it’s just a bit of muscle pain.”

Yamada-kun smiled tiredly while saying that, his face looked like that of a farmer.

“That’s for that agricultural program isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I’ve been busy because the eggplants will be harvested soon.”

Yamada appeared regularly on an idol and agriculture program called, ‘Growing Supreme Vegetables’. In the first meeting Yamada said wanted to do dairy farming to explain the intensity of it, he seemed to have been acknowledged by the farmer colleague.

In my previous life my relatives were dairy farmers, so I helped from time to time when I was a child, but dairy farming is tough. Fundamentally it is an animal company so there are no days off. If you want to take a day off, you have to hire an expensive helper from a Farmer Cooperative. It is only done a few times a year when it is busy.

You work from early morning to late at night, though you do get a break during midday. If you buy all the feed you need you will go bankrupt, so you have to grow corn etc, crush it in a machine before saving it in a silo. Besides that, in order to purchase straw rolls cheaply from neighbours it is necessary to rent machinery to roll it yourself from the Agricultural Cooperative or to roll it by hand. Therefore, you must have good neighbourhood relationships.

It is hard for some farmers to feed their live stock due to increased petroleum prices increasing the price of feed and piling up debt, long ago there was a commotion about mad cow disease and it cause a lot of farmers to give up and choose other professions.

So, I explained to Yamada that dairy farming was not easy, in return he said, “Why don’t you do agriculture with me?” with sparkling eyes.

It seems that it was a famer’s proposal, because apparently no other member of ‘COLOFUL’ are interested in agricultures, Yamada seems to be the only senior idol to participate in the program. Well, people who were born and raised in metropolitan areas are not interested in agriculture. Few people that grow up in the country feel the charm of agriculture, so the number of people who succeed their parents is decreasing and so a lack of successor is a problem.

“I want to make, COLORFUL, the hope for Japanese agriculture.”

Yamada is speaking with a passion and innocent smiling face befitting for his age, but what he says isn’t like that of an idol.

“Eh, Amazing, shall we rehearse?”

Today is a shoot of the drama, it is not the place to talk about the future of Japanese agriculture.

Even so, signing, dancing, making a band, acting, farming and carpentry.

What on earth is an idol?

Here you go the rest of the chapter.


1 Sorry just had to put that in.

Guardrail Lover. She almost did a Shingo.